Advertising killed. Suspect found.
Confession time.
Advertising is dead.
And I think I killed it.
In the future, which starts today, we’ll all receive marketing messages the way God intended, via a microchip implanted in our cerebral cortex.
This 5G enabled chip can serve up to 1 billion Doses™ of promotional content each second. These messages will be embedded in each person’s brain until death, at a minimum. Based on early testing, it’s possible some messages may last several months post-mortem, opening up the possibility of a brand new market for your goods and services!
Talk about an aftermarket, amirite?
This future is so beautiful I could weep for hours just thinking about it. If I could still weep, that is. I was lucky enough to implant one of the prototype chips in my brain and it did a little number on a few of my key emotional centers.
But it’s all good, because that lightly fried brain now has a clear preference for Tampax® brand tampons. Which makes me happy, I think?
Lucky for you, the kinks have been worked out and your chip will be implanted, free of charge, during your next DMV appointment.
Tell me how excited you are about advertising’s death in the comments!
Editor’s Note: TJ Bennett is CEO/Founder/LabRat
at Cerebral Chips Ahoy!™