And the winner is?

A great game does not necessarily mean great commericals. This year is a perfect example. The game had us on the edge of our seats. Most of the commercials left us scratching our heads.

But there were a few standouts. As has been the case in recent years, car companies ruled the day, while bottom feeders like GoDaddy and Career Builder continued to live down to expectations.

The best? 

Without a doubt, the winner was Kia with their “Dream Car for Real Life” spot. It had the perfect mix of big game bombast and gut-busting laughs. While it may not go down as one of the all-time greats, it was everything you want from Super Bowl commercial.

Chrysler struck a more serious note with their “Halftime” spot, starring Clint Eastwood. Now, Clint alone makes this spot more captivating than most, but it was also quite well written, with a timely message that just felt right. Again, it doesn’t appear to have the longevity of last year’s “Imported from Detroit” spot, but it was pretty damn good.

Toyota hit multiple comedic notes with their “Reinvented” spot for the Camry. A montage of absurd scenarios had me cracking up throughout. But the curtains made of pizza clinched this one for me. 

Honda found just the right balance of tribute and freshness with their “Ferris” commercial for the CRV. Broderick’s performance was spot on and the direction was a welcome change of pace from some of the over-the-top nonsense we are usually subjected to on Super Bowl Sunday.

I also loved the Chevy “Stunt” spot for the Sonic. While I’m clearly not the target for this youth-focused spot, it felt fresh and entertaining left me wondering what other cool stunts they could do with the pint-sized people-mover.

A few other car companies had near-misses. The Silverado “End of World” spot was promising, but I felt myself waiting for the guys to realize the absence of women among the survivors. I mean, they’re still kinda doomed if it’s just 5 dudes left on the planet, right? Instead, they went with a lame critique of Ford, which just wasn’t necessary. The Twinkie bit was pretty funny though. 

Audi had an interesting thought with their “Vampire Party” spot. The idea that their lights are as strong as daylight is a strong insight. But the cheesy effects and bad acting ruined this one for me.

VW also missed the mark with their follow up to “The Force”. They took a really nice commercial with a dog trying to get into shape so he could chase the new Beetle and tacked on a completely superfluous Star Wars bit at the end. The Vader joke was lame and not worthy of the comparisons to last year’s classic spot. An especially big disappointment, given the promise of the “Bark Side” teaser.

As for the non-car spots, only two stood out for me. Coke’s “Superstition” spot with the paw-crossing polar bear was by far the best of the bunch. It captured the psychology of a fan perfectly, unlike the spot where the polar bear ran off to scream after his team lost and then came back, seemingly unfazed by the defeat. Any true fan knows it takes a lot more than a cathartic scream to get over a loss in a huge game. 

I also really enjoyed the M&M “Shell” spot. It felt like a fresh addition to their long-running campaign. Hard not to smile at a naked piece of candy.

Now, for the fun part. Who scraped the bottom of the crapvertising barrel this year? Well, there were quite a few mediocre performers, as always. But a handful of spots managed to find new and exciting ways to offend and disgust.

Pepsi was a terrible performer across the board. But for me, the Elton John “King” spot was both annoying to watch and depressingly unfunny.

GoDaddy and Career Builder were horrific, as usual. The ladies at GoDaddy have perfected the art of showing the maximum amount skin while offering a minimum amount of sex appeal. Meanwhile, the monkeys at Career Builder need to just kill that poor guy already. He’s clearly beyond help. Put him out of his misery.

The creators of the Century 21 spot need to go watch Cannonball Run to figure out how to cram way too many celebrities into one production and still create something awesome. Who knew that the combination of Trump, Sanders and Ono would fall flat? Well, pretty much everyone except the people creating this ad. 

I think we can agree that it’s time to hang up the E-Trade baby (not literally of course). The “Fatherhood” spot managed to be both boring and offensive at the same time. No easy feat. But also not something to celebrate by dragging this played campaign on any longer. 

Last and certainly least, was the Oikos “Tease” spot, starring everybody’s favorite Greek former soap star, John Stamos. Equal parts unfunny and unsexy, they managed to make me even less interested in a product that I had previously found repulsive. Bravo, Oikos. Bravo.

So who do you think won the big “game-within-the-game” this year? Do you think my picks suck? Don’t worry, I can take it. I’m used to criticism. I work in advertising, after all.