Crushing the Pandemic® Election Day Edition

I voted like a GD boss today.

First, I fueled up with a tasty egg white and pterodactyl jerky omelet.

Then, I got to work, grunting like an overly-tanned gym bro every time I put pen to paper, grinding those little circles so hard they filed restraining orders in 37 different jurisdictions.

My eyes wept blood tears of joy as I exercised my Crushocratic™ rights, selecting candidates for our county board of supervisors, city treasurer, town milkman and dozens of other local candidates I know absolutely nothing about.

My veins bulged across every limb as I welded my absolute power over the careers of 53 judges who may or may not be good at their jobs.

And finally, I stuffed that ballot into the box with the force of 10 million Lou Ferrignos, confident that I made the right choices on every single one of the referendums that our elected officials were too cowardly to even hold a vote on.

So, how hard did you fuckwads #CrushTheBallot™ today?