Self-haters gonna self-hate
Ad people just love hating on this business.
It’s an epidemic.
Luckily, I’ve come up with 10 easy ways to cure even the worst case of ad industry self-loathing:
1. Spend a few minutes on Twitter… you’ll discover plenty of people to loathe more than yourself.
2. Go out and do something truly loathsome, like putting ketchup on pizza. Or posting about politics on LinkedIn.
3. Get a tattoo of a sloth face over your entire face. Just try hating that adorable mug staring back at you in the mirror.
4. Get a cat. He’ll hate you enough for the both of you.
5. Punch yourself in the face each morning; this will focus your hatred on your fist which is only about 4% of you, a nice reduction from 100%.
6. Work in Silicon Valley. They’ve built an entire culture around feeling excessively and unironically proud of the awful things they do.
7. Get plastic surgery so it feels like you’re hating a complete stranger.
8. Fake your own death - you’ll be too busy keeping up the ruse to hate on your non-existent self.
9. Keep a helium tank on hand and inhale whenever the urge to hate yourself arises. If you can hate someone who sounds like a stoned chipmunk, I can’t help you.
10. And if all that fails… be a damned adult and just do your damned job already. With a smile. 😊