What I'll miss (and what I won't)

So I’m busting out of this joint. Leaving the Big Apple and making my way to the land of fun, sun and the occasional natural disaster. 

But before I pack my bags and get on the plane to SoCal, I thought I’d reflect on the good, bad and ugly of my experience here in NYC.

I will miss the people here. The good friends. The oddball acquaintances. The random run-ins on the street with people you haven’t seen in years. And the batshit insane characters that populate every nook and cranny of this fine city.

I won’t miss the crowds, the sweaty masses yearning to get in my way as I hustle off to Penn Station. The assholes who think a car horn has the magical ability to make traffic disappear. 

I will miss the ease of mass transit. The ability to get almost anywhere with the swipe of a card. 

I won’t miss the ineptitude of mass transit. The inability to provide consistent service or make even the most basic upgrades to hundred-year-old infrastructure. 

I will miss the incredible walkability of Manhattan. Where 20 blocks feels like nothing because there’s so much cool shit to see. 

I won’t miss the incredible stench of Manhattan. Where every step is an olfactory reminder of just how disgusting human beings are as a species.

I will miss the fact that drinking and driving is virtually a non-issue here. There is no reason to get behind the wheel when you can throw your drunk ass in a cab or train at any hour of the night (or morning). 

I won’t miss the fact that half the people in this city drive like they’re drunk anyway.

Most of all, I will miss being connected to the city where I truly discovered myself. The city where I made lifelong friends, built a career I love and met my amazing wife. There’s something pretty cool about walking by all of the places where so many awesome  memories were created. I will really miss that.

But I still won’t miss the stench.