You don't know me

Here’s a general rule of thumb.

If your business is not actually from my home town, don’t pretend that you ‘get’ what it’s like to live where I do.

It makes you look both stupid and condescending at the same time. 

Hey New York, we’re here now. Fuggedaboutit.

Hey Hollywood, there’s a new star in town.

Hey Boston, there’s a wicked awesome new insurance company in town.

Hey Chicago, look who just blew into town.

Hey Nashville, there’s a grand ol’ bank coming to your city.

Hey Seattle, we’re bringing a touch of nirvana to your neighborhood.

Hey Miami, we’re here. And we’re wearing a thong.

You get the idea. Or lack thereof. 

If you see one of these ads in your town, report it to the local Chamber of Commerce. Someone needs to let these companies know how pathetic they sound.

Here’s a tip: if you run a business and want to announce that you are new in town, tell us what you do first. Don’t just assume that we’ll be so damn happy that you’ve graced us with your presence that we’ll all run out and start buying your shit. 

Then, once you’ve wowed us with your story, simply let us know you are in town. Just say hello. No jokes. No desperate attempts at sounding like you ‘get’ us. 

Seriously. Fuggedaboutit.